We’ve been busy this month, helping four families in total, and we’re not done yet…

Isiah, a sweet baby boy born with a number of health issues, was given to a foster family in Arizona in March after spending 4-weeks in the NICU. He passed away a month later under the foster families care. The state of Arizona paid for the burial and this week we are pleased to be able to present him, his foster family, and his biological family with a very special headstone from our baby to theirs. 

Additionally, another headstone funded last week for Grandmother, Chris Wareing and the Mulvaney Family in Centerville, IA. Chris penned these beautiful words in her letter to us about their angel baby, Alessa: “I don’t know yet the purpose our angels are in heaven now but I’m sure there has got to be a reason. I never had anything more devastating in my life happen than losing my granddaughter but in my heart I just keep hoping there was some reason I don’t yet know. I want her life to have meant something no matter how short it was.” Click below to read their family’s story.

And finally, the first week in August, two more headstones funded for families of lost babies that we’ve been helping. The Serawop Family in NV and Kathy Lemon’s Family in MA.

To find out more about these beautiful families, go to:  http://www.dempseyburdick.com/the_families.html

To see Esther Cepeda’s original article in the Chicago Sun-Times, click here.

Grieving dad helps others bear loss
August 9, 2010
BY ESTHER CEPEDA

In the decade since my daughter, Wren, died at birth, not much has changed for parents who have to endure such sorrow. There are still no iron-clad preventative measures mothers can take to guarantee their baby will make it through what is commonly an effortless pregnancy.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, every year more than 25,000 babies between 20 and 42 weeks of gestation are stillborn in the U.S. — a shocking 10 times the number of deaths occurring from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. This clocks out to about one stillbirth every 20 minutes.

Though advances in prenatal care have had a deep impact on infant mortality rates over the last 30 years, obstetricians are at a loss to explain why stillbirth rates remain as they do, or why the complex mystery continues to cut across geographic, racial, ethnic and socioeconomic lines.

One thing, however, has changed dramatically since I simultaneously said hello and goodbye to my stillborn baby girl: Economic times have gotten a lot tougher.

Today the Great Recession is increasingly squeezing stunned parents who thought they’d be struggling to pay for diapers and formula but instead are both grief-stricken and financially unprepared to deal with the expenses of burying their infant.

Enter the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation, which provides headstones for struggling families who can’t afford to buy proper grave markers for their lost babies.

It began in 2003, when grieving dad Kevin Burdick noticed the many rotted and broken plastic markers on the baby graves surrounding his own stillborn daughter Dempsey’s memorial in an Arizona Utah cemetery. He believed helping other parents complete the grieving process would be the best way to honor his daughter. “We’ve had a lot more requests this year. . . . We helped as many families in 2009 as we did in the previous three years,” Burdick told me. “Families who have had this devastating loss, they’re out of work, they don’t have health insurance, they lose a baby and when you add the medical bills, funeral expenses, then consider a tiny marble stone that typically starts at $600 but can top the thousands — forget it!”

The still-nascent foundation takes heart-rending written and e-mailed requests from all over the country, primarily through its website, and has so far helped 21 families in 13 states. The tiny staff, under Kevin’s leadership, verifies need and vital records with agencies in each parent’s home county, then negotiates with the cemetery and local monument companies to create and install a customized headstone.

Kevin began the foundation with his own money, but this year’s increasing demand requires fund-raising efforts. The waiting list, which includes a Chicago mom hoping for a marker to place on her daughter’s grave in Mount Hope Cemetery, is swelling.

As it turns out, those efforts also provide healing experiences for families who’ve had to face the agony of losing a baby. For instance, Malory Jimenez, a 26-year-old mother of two from Boston who lost her baby, Janessa, in May 2009, told me she encourages her family, friends and Internet support group peers to donate to the foundation so other grieving families can begin the healing process by memorializing their baby’s brief life.

“When Janessa passed away we were devastated,” Malory told me. “Though my husband and I had scrounged up $300 after the funeral, we just couldn’t afford the marker. To think we couldn’t give her the one and only thing she’d ever need, the one thing the grief counselors said we needed to cope with this loss . . . to think that there would be nothing to mark her grave . . . it killed us.”

Of Dempsey’s foundation and the headstone it provided, Malory says: “They were the light in the darkness that allowed me, my husband and son to go on.”

Amazingly, some things — the human capacity for both pain and benevolence — also haven’t changed in the decade since my Wren fluttered away. Though not long enough, she briefly lived in a world where even amid a symphony of unimaginable grief, there still ring notes of generosity and grace.

To see the original posting of this story, by Nicole Wardell, click here.

Musician with Utah ties creates foundation to honor daughter with a heart defect

In an area called “babyland” in a Utah cemetery, Dempsey Sue Burdick rests.  Dempsey was only 31 days old when she passed away.  Dempsey was born with a congenital heart defect known as Transposition of the Great Vessels in which the aorta and pulmonary arteries are switched.  Two days after her birth she underwent open heart surgery to correct her fragile heart condition.  Although her surgery was successful, she contracted an infection and a blood clot which attacked her weakened body.  Dempsey passed away May 3, 2003.

Her father, Kevin Burdick, a national recording and performing artist, said that  “some days its still hard to wake up.  The pain never seems to completely go away.”  Although Burdick lives with his pain on a daily basis, he has found a way to create something good out of his daughter’s death–The Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation. 

A few months after Dempsey’s funeral, Burdick was visiting her grave.  He noticed that a number of other children surrounding Dempsey’s grave had no headstones.  Their resting places were marked with nothing more than a small nameplate provided by the cemetery.  Burdick decided to start a headstone fund for families with a financial need.  The Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation was created.  In the first year the foundation helped 1 family provide a headstone for their child’s grave.  Today, the foundation has helped nearly 30 families and has 15 more on a waiting list. 

Burdick explained that having a proper place to memorialize a child that has passed away is an important part of the grieving process.  Having a place to go to think, pray, put flowers, and “hope for a day to see them again” offers a certain level of closure to the grieving family.

In November, 2009, Malory Jimenez received a headstone from The Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation.  Her daughter, Janessa Jimenez, was born at 31 1/2 weeks stillborn.  Malory had a placental abruption which caused too much stress for her daughter to survive. 

Malory and her husband provided a fitting funeral for their daughter and were left with nothing left over.  After the memorial service, they began pricing headstones and were devastated at the cost.  A simple headstone can cost as much as $700.  Malory realized it would be some time before they could supply Janessa with a headstone.  Visiting her daughter at the cemetery was a surreal experience for Malory and not having a headstone made it difficult to accept.  Malory felt that the headstone was the “only thing they would ever need to give to Janessa.”  Not being able to supply the headstone was difficult.

Malory found Burdick’s foundation in an online search.  She was both overwhelmed that someone could make something good come out of the death of their child and filled with gratitude at the generosity of Burdick’s foundation.  She also found that it was the only foundation of its kind in the nation as far as she could tell.  She applied for a headstone for Janessa.  In November, Burdick contacted Malory, letting her know that The Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation was “pleased to present the Jimenez family with a special headstone from our baby to theirs.”  Burdick’s foundation took some of the extra pain and grief away.  Malory is forever appreciative for Burdick’s generosity.  In honor of Janessa’s 1 year anniversary, Malory held a memorial and fundraiser.  The memorial raised enough money for The Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation to supply another family with a headstone for their angel.

Burdick works closely with memorial companies to receive discount rates for the families his foundation helps.  $300 provides a family with a beautiful headstone to memorialize their child.  In a tough economy, donations have slowed and Burdick has families waiting for help.  Burdick appreciates those willing to donate to his daughter’s foundation.  The foundation has no paid employees and every cent goes to help grieving families.

In addition, Burdick has written a song to honor babies lost too soon.  His song, “Too Good for This World,” has touched a number of grieving families.  Although Burdick has written numerous songs and produced a number of CD’s, he feels as though this song, written for Dempsey, was his most inspired.

For Burdick, creating a foundation in Dempsey’s honor, was easy.  According to Burdick, The Dempsey Memorial Foundation keeps Dempsey alive and “makes her a part of my life.”

Nearly 7 years to the date after Dempsey’s passing I got an amazing invitation from an old high school friend.  Her husband, a seasoned racecar driver with the NHRA (National Hot Rod Association), was touched by her charity and wanted to help create awareness.  They decided to help her get her wings by placing her as a sponsor on their racecar. 

Now Dempsey will be flying across the race track at hundreds of miles an hour all over the United States as part of the KMB Motorsports Team.  I couldn’t be more proud of that national impact my little girl is making and more grateful to KMB Motorsports, Tracey and Kevin Bovay, for their kind donation and unique way that they’ve helped Dempsey and her message truly fly. 

To find out more about Dempsey’s Fund and how she is helping provide financially struggling families with a headstone for their lost babies, go to:  www.babyheadstones.org

April 4th, 2010 – Huge thanks to AT&T for their employee fundraising efforts – the corporate support is hugely needed and extremely appreciated.  Also, big thanks to everyone who came out and supported the Foundation at the Benefit Concert in Arizona this week.  To read about the concert or see photos from the event, go to:  http://kevinburdick.com/blog/index.php/2010/04/03/whats-eating-gilbert-arizona/ 

February 18th, 2010 – We continue to grow!!  Today we registered two new domains to the website to make it easier for people to remember how to find us:  www.dempseysfund.com and www.babyheadstones.org

December 5th, 2009 – The Christmas Box Angel Ceremony was held today in Idaho.  Unfortunately I wasn’t able to attend and perform. However, I was touched that they wanted to play “Too Good For This World” as a tribute to the babies we’ve all lost.  I wrote this reading to be shared before the song was played – I hope it brought some of the families comfort and maybe inspired them a bit:

Losing my daughter, Dempsey, 5 years ago to a heart defect is one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure – I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. It has tested my faith and my courage. Some days it’s still hard to wake up. The pain never seems to completely go away, but it does get easier knowing that I’m not alone and that their are others who are also searching for the will to be brave and continue on.

It’s hard to ever look at losing the love of my life, Dempsey, as anything positive – but through her strength, well as they say, hindsight is 20/20. Without her, we wouldn’t have had the inspiration to start the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation which, this year alone, has helped 7 financially struggling families with funds for a headstone for their baby’s gravesites. Without her, I wouldn’t be pursuing my dream as a national touring musician and would never have written this song about my daughter. This song I give you all as a gift from my baby to yours – may it give you the same comfort and peace that it gives me knowing that one day I’ll see my loved one again on the other side. It’s called “Too Good For This World” and it is available for free download on my daughter’s website – www.dempseyburdick.com.

April 15th, 2009 – We have established a presence on Facebook to help create more awareness about the Foundation.  Hopefully friends of the charity will take the time to add and explore us there.

The Dempsey Burdick Memorial

Foundation Facebook Page – Add Us

February 25th, 2009 – We would like to thank Kele & Company for working closely with one of the founders of the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation (and my sister), Mrs. Allison Petersen on The Dempsey Pendant (featured below).  A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this pendant will be donated to the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation.

The pendant can be found and ordered from page 36 of the new 2009 Kele and Company Catalog, found here.

February 12th, 2009 – Thank you for visiting the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation home page.  Please accept this mp3 download as a free gift for supporting us.  It is national touring musician Kevin Burdick’s heartfelt song about the loss of his daughter Dempsey, entitled “Too Good For This World.”  Simply right-click on the link and select “Save Target As” in order to save the file to your computer.  In exchange for the mp3, no payment is required, however, we would appreciate a donation of any kind.  Donations are used entirely to provide needy families with a permanent grave marker for their lost child.  Click here to donate.

February 9th, 2009 – Today I discovered this very worthwhile charity today that is also doing some amazing things to memorialize lost children for grieving families.  Please check it out.  I know that the photos I have of my Dempsey are some of my most prized possessions:  http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

October 23rd, 2008 – We’ve have a great year so far this year and have met a number of amazing families.  Read their stories by clicking here.

December 29th, 2006 – December fund-raising efforts, including our 2nd Annual Dempsey Burdick Memorial Silent Auction, have yielded $1350 this year, about $600 more than last December.  Thank you everyone for participating.

 We have just started the bidding in our 2nd Annual Dempsey Burdick Memorial Silent Auction. 

September 6th, 2005 – We would like to thank everyone that bid in the first annual Dempsey Burdick Memorial Silent Auction.  With all bids we earned $730 and are able to provide 2 more grieving families with headstones.  Thank you for all of your help.

July 26th, 2005 – Today we opened up the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Silent Auction.  Friends of the charity are encouraged to bid generously on donated items.  Because we are a Public, Non-Profit Charity which has been granted 501(c) (3), tax exempt status,  charitable contributions to this foundation are tax deductible.  Bidding for the auction will last until August 31st, 2005 at midnight.

July 25th, 2005 – Out deepest sympathies and love go out to the Rod & Janna Evans family of Ogden, Utah who lost their daughter Megan on June 7th, 2004. We are pleased to present the Evans Family with a special headstone from our daughter to theirs. We feel honored to have felt their story and know that we are better people for having known them.

July 3rd, 2005 –  “Too Good For This World”, written and recorded for Dempsey Burdick, was donated to the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation today.  The song was composed and paid for by her father Kevin Burdick; produced and engineered by Utah Recording Artist Joel Pack.  Families and friends of the organization are welcomed and encouraged to download the MP3 free of charge, by clicking the following link:

Too Good For This World (Acoustic Version) **

** Friends of the foundation who also want to make a donation to the charity of $1 or more in exchange for the song can do so from our donations page.

June 15th, 2005 – Today I posted Grandma’s Journal which is a touching and emotional recount of the birth and death of Dempsey.  I also posted a poem by Stephanie Thompson (Dempsey’s Aunt) written for Dempsey and read at her funeral.

June 14th, 2005 – We have recently been contacting various other charities and corporations as we work to forged a number of new partnerships.  Here is a copy of the letter that Allison Petersen, one of the managing partners of the Dempsey Burdick Memorial Foundation, sent to Demdaco.

May 28th, 2004 – Our deepest sympathies and love go out to Erin & John Johnson of Holliday, Utah, who endured the death of their angel baby, Abigail, in July 2003.  We are pleased to present the Johnson Family with a special headstone from our baby to theirs.  We feel honored to have felt their story and know that we are better people for having known them.

May 1st, 2004 – An introduction letter was mailed to 35 families who’s babies do not have headstones in the Baby Land area of the Larkin Sunset Gardens memorial park.

April 18th, 2004 – I have been taking a little more time this weekend to go to the cemetery where my daughter is buried. She is buried in a section of the cemetery called “Baby Land.” It is filled with children who died too early. The saddest thing is that there are at least 15 babies there who’s parents haven’t provided them with headstones. Whether or not they are financially struggling or don’t care, I’m not sure. It did get me thinking. I am going to start a headstone fund for these families.

I went to the Larkin Sunset Gardens and told them of my idea: The Dempsey Burdick Memorial Headstone Fund. They supported it and said that for a minimal amount we could provide each family a 8″ X 16″ headstone in several different styles and have it engraved, placed, and maintained. The last few days I’ve been meeting with various companies in soliciting donations.  We’re going to make sure that those babies get remembered. Larkin is putting together a list for me of addresses of these babies families and a letter will go out as soon as I get that list.

We now have a blog.  Big thanks to longtime friend, David Darling, for donating his time on setting this up.  We’ll be pushing over content from the Journal pages to the Blog and updating it with exciting news and information.